Feeling frustrated? Struggling in your relationships with men? Can’t figure out what men really want? How they think?… Why they act the way they do?
You’re not alone, MANY women struggle with trying to figure out… just what the heck it is that men really want?
In fact it goes both ways… many men struggle with what women want too… and as a result, we are not doing very well in our relationships.
In a recent survey, over 500 women who were either married or in a serious relationship, were asked the question… “What statement best describes your relationship?”
The results were pretty sad… only 5.7% said “Our relationship couldn’t be better” 52% said “We’ll survive, it’s just really hard right now.”
And the rest, 41.9%, had no faith left in their relationship at all… with comments such as “We’re together but it’s cold, distant and loveless”, “My spouse doesn’t even care about our relationship anymore” and “Our relationship doesn’t even have a pulse.”
Wow… sad isn’t it… over 90% are struggling, unhappy or have completely given up.
At least one comforting thing you can take from this, if you are struggling to understand men and relationships… you are far from alone.
So where do you begin, to start figuring out how men think, what they want and how to have a successful relationship.
The first step is recognizing what is going wrong…
It’s not so much that men and women want different things, as far as relationships go, we all WANT a good relationship where we can love and be loved. Nobody actually wants a bad relationship.
The problem is that men and women think and communicate differently.
Neither way is right or wrong… we are just different.
So if you want to improve your relationship with your man, starting right now, there are two simple things you can start doing… that will make a huge difference to how your man responds to you.
1. Learn the communication style that men respond to best
2. Learn about timing
First of all communication… Did you know that there are four different communication styles. We all use one of these. Three of them are a turn off to men and one is a turn on.
The four communication styles are: passive, aggressive, passive‐aggressive, and assertive.
Of the four styles, assertive is the sexiest to a man. Why?…
Because he always knows where he stands with you.
Unlike the other communication styles…
Passive… He never knows what you want because you won’t say. Men hate trying to read your mind!
Aggressive… Where you yell, criticize, nag or threaten. This will make your man shut down.
Passive-Aggressive… Where you say one thing but mean another. Your man will be confused and will also shut down.
Assertive communication means sticking up for yourself, but in a respectful way. No yelling or nagging. Calmly and firmly stating what you want. Guys love women who communicate like this. Men find confident women very sexy.
The second important thing is timing…
Don’t try and launch into a full on conversation with your man the moment he gets home from work. Guys need time to unwind after a day at work. They need time to switch off.
Women tend to want to talk straight away, about everything they did that day. Guys don’t. So give him some space, leave him alone for a while and then gently try and start a conversation once he is relaxed. You will get a much better response from him this way.
Also, don’t try and start a great big in depth conversation while he is watching his favorite sport on TV… or in bed, when he is just about to nod off to sleep.
We really do get our timing wrong sometimes. We need to learn to stop and think.
So next time you want to talk to your man about something… stop, think, stay calm…
Choose the right moment and speak your mind calmly and honestly and you will most likely get a response that you are very pleased with.
If you want to find out more about what men really want plus a few more tips on how to communicate with your man, there’s a great video you can watch right here :
Photo By : Fotostorm